remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
