So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
