They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
