Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
