I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
