How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
