six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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