I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize