So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
