...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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