I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
