the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
