I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Can Purell be used as lube?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
