Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
false alarm. still invincible.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
