Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
