I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
