I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize