Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
So squirting runs in the family.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
