The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
