Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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