My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
you had me at cake vodka
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Randomize
