you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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