How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
