just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
