Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I got inside last night via doggy door
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize