good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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