I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
tell your sister to shave her snatch
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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