we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
