so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
