So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
