Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
