Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
