I wish I could teleport
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
