How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
