Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
