fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I don't want my vagina anymore.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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