A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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