please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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