just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
