Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize