We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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