my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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