I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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