Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
