That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
