Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
