I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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