The maid of honor just puked.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
birth control should be required to get into college
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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