and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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