Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
