Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
