..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
