you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
