Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
my being single is dangerous.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
