Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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