Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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