One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
