I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
