I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
