Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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