have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
