can we get nightvision for the apartment?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize