Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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