I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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