what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize