Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
