Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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