maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize