it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
