So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
