I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
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