that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
They have beer where we have blood.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize