Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
